Let's make sloppy Martian love in the back of my dune buggy  

40Deuce 40M  
5460 posts
2/13/2018 5:37 pm

Last Read:
2/16/2018 5:51 pm

Let's make sloppy Martian love in the back of my dune buggy

I've long wondered if there's really that much more sex on Valentine's Day than any other day . The first factor is that despite massive marketing efforts Valentine's Day isn't celebrated so much outside of the honkey countries - Canada , US , UK , Australia , Zealand , etc. So right off the bat there's going to be a limited impact . Combined that's not even 10% of the world population . And then you have to cut that in half again to account for kids and old people and castrati and nuns and whatnot . So I best we're talking about a 5% increase - and a lot of those people are probably single anyway , or too married to care about sex anymore .

And I bet what really makes the difference is what day Valentine's falls on . Like a Friday Valentine's Day ? Probably the nasty index goes up . A Wednesday , or "hump" day" , Valentine's ? Probably not so much . A Monday Valentine's Day ? forget about it .



Compare that with Sex Day in Brazil when the shagging market goes up at least 40% . Which is a joke of course because every day is sex day in Brazil .

What I'm saying is investing in sex futures before VD seems like a surefire winner but it's more complicated than that .

So now I going to figure out if there's a measurable increase in masturbation on Valentine's Day and if there's an increase in soliciting prostitutes .

Speaking of , it's a lot harder than you think to find a hooker who's willing to dress up like a mummy . And trust me if you feel like you're getting bad customer service do NOT ask to speak to her manager . Who knew pimps were so rude ?

I saw a lady taking a selfie at her desk today and I smacked the phone out of her hand and scolded her for being unprofessional and to her credit she didn't back down (not like that coward Danielle) and said "You hate bathrooms selfies and car selfies where am I supposed to take a fucking selfie your majesty ?" Which is a good point I suppose . I mean the obvious answer is don't take a selfie but clearly that's like my grandma saying "Just don't use the internet" at this point . So I would say take a selfie where there's something worth seeing . Everyone's sick of your dumb ass , but if you're in the Mount Emei Scenic Area that's a good time for a selfie . I mean it would be better if you just took a picture without yourself in it , but see above .

I played Axis and Allies once on Valentine's Day . That about says it all .


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40Deuce 40M  
4764 posts
2/13/2018 5:39 pm

Tim was playing the UK and he moved all his fighters to Russian and then spent his money on bombers - which allowed me (playing Germany) to take him out on the second turn . That was pretty much the biggest accomplishment of my life .

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


HAMONMAN 58M
501 posts
2/13/2018 5:47 pm

The nerve of that woman calling you a small "m" majesty.
She needs a lesson in the distinction between honorifics and humilifics.


40Deuce replies on 2/14/2018 4:41 pm:
Don't we all

mufdiver69er2 57M  
915 posts
2/13/2018 5:53 pm

jonn joenz the martian might be interested in that dune buggy scenario..but speaking of...


40Deuce replies on 2/14/2018 4:41 pm:
Too bad Superman turned evil and killed him (again)

mufdiver69er2 57M  
915 posts
2/13/2018 6:38 pm

honkeys? really?


smartasswoman 60F  
27246 posts
2/13/2018 8:28 pm

I almost wish I was still working because there's a few people I would have liked to have used that "your majesty" line on.


40Deuce replies on 2/14/2018 4:42 pm:
The conundrum is if you were still working you couldn't because you'd have to deal with them afterwards

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