Private Mailbox. My profile for Standard members, Leave a message here if you can't email
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Posted:Jun 29, 2013 11:54 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2021 4:05 am
24385 Views
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I've seen this on other blogs, if you want to talk to me but can't email then post a message here, it won't be publicly viewable and is the best way to get in touch.
I am a 51 year old Single guy from London, never been married and not attached in any way other than having a 12 year old who i spend every other weekend with.
i have a good though often warped sense of fun and insanity. I've been out of commission for a few years due to having a relationship and a young who spends every other weekend with me, but am now single again and looking to exercise my prerogative before it rusts.
My interests and tastes are extremely varied in and out of the bedroom but i'm not pushy about them, pushing is for swings and go-karts, sex should be more fun than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide, or why do it right?
My philosophy is "Life is short, you're not getting out of it alive so make the most of it while you've got it."
I've had my share of kinky experiences and am open to trying pretty much anything at least once (experimentation is the spice of life after all) but i prefer things to be mutually fun rather than tense so i very much chillax and go with the flow.
That's not to say i don't try and guide the flow sometimes, just that i don't stick a great big dam across it and say "This is what is going to happen come hell or high water." I'd be the first to say i'm not a dom except for when i'm playing one, it's fun as a game but way too much work to try and live it 24/7.
I'm told i'm oversexed because i'm ever ready and my idea of a quickie takes half an hour but what the hell, If you're doing something you like then go for it.
Want to know more? Ask me, i'm not shy.
My Ideal Person
I don't have any hangups about colour or size, i tend to be very attracted to black and asian women and find curvy ladies very sexy but i take people as they come, not as a list of ticked boxes. I have an insane weakness for redheads and women in glasses, the sexy librarian look, but i don't ignore people just because they don't tick all or even one box, none of those are the person, just something about the person, the only box i think needs to be ticked is "Do i fancy her?" I'm not going to have sex with someone just because i can.
If i had a dreamgirl it would be a thought provokingly intelligent mature unshaven (i like a pussy to look like it belongs to an adult) curvy redhead librarian with an ass that doesn't stop (i like big asses, sue me) who doesn't live a million miles away and isn't turned off by using a strapon on a man for regular unprotected sex (after proof of safety of course) a little light bondage and spanking (i have nothing against Dommes but i am not sub and find the way some go about it a bit of a turn off, i'm not Dom either, i can play them for a while but not forever) and maybe more if that's how it goes but i am not tied to any of that description, you fancy who you fancy and it's not always who you'd think.
35 is my lowest age limit, younger than that just makes me feel like a dirty old scrote.
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Just some pictures
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Posted:May 5, 2017 11:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2018 1:51 am
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I've seen a few blogs recently where the blogger asks the readers if they have any talents, so here is mine, just some marginally arty things i have done at one time or another, comments welcome. 
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Just for laughs
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Posted:Mar 26, 2017 1:37 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2017 9:32 pm
7619 Views
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SexBook Of Sex - Find Sex with Real People for Free Application for the post of Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Lover/Casual Cumbucket/Casual Jizzhose
Name:
Age:
Real Age:
C'mon Obama, what's on your Birth certificate:
Height:
Height without lifts/platform shoes/heels:
Weight/Build, male applicants should refrain from the use of 'Portly' as a description if they have a beer gut larger than the belly of a woman in the last days of pregnancy and should indicate if their breasts are larger or smaller than those of the prospective girlfriend:
Vital Statistics. Male applicants should include a visually verified measurement of length and girth against an object of internationally standardized dimensions:
Do you have all of your own teeth:
Do you have all of your own hair, please indicate the level of ridiculousness of any measures being used to hide baldness on the Trump/Tribble hairpiece scale:
Do you have any extra hair, please indicate if your back looks like a bearskin rug:
Current Location:
Rent: Own: Living with parents: YMCA:
Current Relationship Status:
Actual Relationship Status:
What the IRS thinks your relationship status is:
Number of Dependants, please include pets, male applicants should include all trucks with gun racks, huntin dawgs and beer buddies, female applicants should provide an estimate of the total number of cats to the nearest dozen:
Education:
Occupation:
Promotion Prospects:
Monthly Disposable Income:
Please indicate if you are looking for long term/long term with extra participants/short term/one night stand/weeks of talking before losing interest or not turning up to a date:
Please list all previous relationships in chronological order with dates and reasons for termination and full contact information for reference checking. Please include batshit crazy ex's and stalkers you slept with once and subsequently had to move to get away from:
Number of previous sexual partners. If different from above please include percentage that were willing to see you more than once:
Please list the number of previous partners who would describe you as a batshit crazy stalker they slept with once and subsequently had to move to get away from:
Number and severity of current or past STIs:
Please list all previous sexual experiences in order of preference, all applicants should indicate acceptance or rejection of anal and oral up to and including swallowing:
Please list all sexual fantasies in order of desire for fulfilment, male applicants should indicate the likelihood of a prospective girlfriend coming home early and finding her boyfriend parading in front of the bedroom mirror in her underwear, unless the underwear will look better on him than on her in which case such activity should be confined to the darkest recesses of his brain:
Please describe what you are offering and what you expect, note "Cock and Pussy" as an answer requires fleshing out.
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It's story time
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Posted:Mar 2, 2017 2:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2021 4:07 am
9465 Views
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I thought it would be fun to have story time, i am going to write the first part of a story, setting a scene, i invite imaginative collaboration in its completion.
Her hazel eyes stared deeply into the blue pools of my own as she sat swirling the spoon through the froth on her coffee and then lifting it to her lips, her tongue slowly licking the length clean, cocking an eyebrow as if to say "Yes, and?"
I shifted uncomfortably on my chair as the swelling within my pants demanded extra room, i had been hard from the moment i laid eyes on her, from the tips of her leopard print boots to the Auburn locks framing a face to write poetry about, she was stunning and i was certainly stunned, tongue tied and flustered beyond sanity as i took in the plunging neckline showing off her full firm breasts with their hard nipples making their presence known.
I'd been in the coffee shop for half an hour waiting for a no-show date to arrive or call or answer a text and was just about to say fuck it and head off when this vision carrying a couple of shopping bags walked through the door and sat down a couple of tables over thumbing through her phone, her thumbs dancing as she sent a message to some lucky bastard. I was lost instantly, i just sat there staring like a starving man at the window of a buffet.
She looked over and caught me but instead of getting in a huff or laughing at my deer-in-the-headlights expression she smiled to herself, a knowingly devilish little curve of the lips that said she knew what was in my mind, what was in the minds of every man who looked at her and probably a large number of statues too, she had my heart beating so hard it felt like it might burst from my chest.
When the waitress walked past i got her attention and asked for another coffee and Biscotti, all thoughts of my aborted date gone from my mind, paled to insignificance by probably the most gorgeous woman on the face of creation.
Aphrodite ordered a coffee of her own and went back to her phone, her long painted nails tap dancing across the screen as i snuck my own phone into position to get a photo of her for later.
When her coffee arrived she slowly poured in some sugar before dipping the spoon into the froth and raising it to her lips, she lifted her cup and took a sip and as she savored the taste she looked at me over the rim of the cup, right at me, not darting her eyes or pretending to look off into a distance i just happened to get in the way of, she looked me full in the face, and then checked me out.
Okay, i'll admit it, i sucked in my gut and puffed out my chest and if i could have flopped my dick onto the table i would have done, she turned a million watt smile on me and beckoned me over. Of course i jumped at the chance, like an Olympic bloody athlete no less.
As i sat down at her table, hunching over my hardon and desperately imagining gigantic blocks of ice in an effort to chill my ardour she gave an appreciative little murmur at the straining fabric.
I said hi and introduced myself, well ok i stammered and stuttered my way through an intro that probably sounded like "Hi, i'm Brian, my friends call me Brian, you can call me Brian, because that's my name, Brian that is... Erm..."
She sat there smiling into her coffee as i fumbled my way through the delicate business of remembering how to speak, asking her if she was shopping, if she was having a good day, i think i may even have asked if she came here often as i silently begged the gods to throw lightning bolts at my head and put me out of her misery.
As she finished her coffee and stood up, gathering her bags my heart sank Blown it, blown it BLOWN IT!! You idiot!!! you wankbiscuit!!! Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!! But she curled her finger and beckoned me to follow. I quickly called over the waitress and dumped a heap of cash on the table, probably leaving one happy employee behind because i have no idea how much i put down other than it must have been at least enough not to get chased down the street for skipping on a bill.
Aphrodite walked down the street with me skipping to catch up and almost ending up flat on my face because i was paying far more attention to her ass than where my feet were going but we arrived safely at her van, she dumped her bags on the back seats and climbed inside, opening the door for me to slide in beside her.
As i sat nervously not quite believing what was happening and waiting to take my cue from her to avoid a taser in the balls she dropped her hand down onto my thigh and very lightly stroked her fingertips back and forth.
I leaned across to kiss her but she pulled back, wagging her finger and smiling , nonono man, *i'm* driving, sit back and enjoy the ride.
So... what would you add?
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The plan
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Posted:Mar 1, 2017 11:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2018 8:53 am
8717 Views
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I was talking to my mother yesterday and she says to me "I worry about you, you are 51 and you're not settled."
I've got that stuff from her all my life, that's mothers for you after all, especially Irish Catholic ones, they want to see their married and churning out grandchildren, that's the plan, what you are supposed to do to lead a good life.
I've never been married, hell i've only ever brought home four girlfriends to run the gauntlet of familial inquisition. I joke that it is hard to get someone that drunk and still expect them to stand at an altar, i've come close but, well, life happens, it doesn't always care about plans, it doesn't always give you what you want it sure doesn't give you guarantees, about the only thing you can be sure of is having to make lemonade sometimes.
Have i had a good life? I've been happy, i've been sad, i've felt fulfilled on occasion, i have a i love to bits, i've had good friends and people i have loved, doesn't sound so bad to me. Could it have been better? Sure, could it have been worse? Absofrickenlutely!!
Life is what you make of it, the trick is to live it.
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Confrontation
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Posted:Feb 23, 2017 3:01 am
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2018 10:18 am
8528 Views
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I have a problem with confrontation, i can't stand it, it gives me the shakes and makes me feel sick.
Passionate discussions on life, the universe and everything? No problem, love them, but the moment it comes to talking about my relationships... not so much. I can't say "I have a problem with X" because in my head i hear them hearing "I have a problem with you" and i just can't say that to someone, If it even feels slightly like whatever i want to say might hurt the other persons feelings or cause an argument then i clam up, i can't get out a word. If i am forced to answer the what's wrong question then i can't find the words, i get stuck trying to find some way to answer that won't make the other person angry or sad, i ramble, lose the plot, get lost halfway through a sentence, so i say nothing and hope things will get better when the other person has no idea something is even wrong, if you say nothing you can't say the wrong thing right?
A little while ago i had a date, it was all going well, very hot, and then when i kissed her she pulled back and turned her head. We had talked about nothing else for weeks so it was... confusing, it wasn't the end of the world but it did leave me feeling disconnected, even more so when she still wanted to get hands on.
It was my own fault, i'm a smoker, when she said right at the beginning that she can't stomach the smell of it on a person or the taste of it in their mouth and talked about it on the phone then i should have said it wasn't going to work if we could talk about kissing for weeks but ot actually kiss. Kissing is important, it is intimate, getting sexy without kissing makes me feel like i am just a dick on legs and i can't stand that, hence the disconnect.
When she asked me why i was distant and uncomfortable i couldn't answer without sounding like i was blaming her, i couldn't say why did you invite me when we had no chance? So i couldn't answer at all and that hurt her feelings and made her angry too.
I know communication is important, that if you can't talk openly and honestly with each other then you can't do much of anything, that i shouldn't be so worried about saying something that will make them leave, easy to think it, easy to write it, not so easy to do it.
I grew up with violence, with shouting matches and thrown plates, it leaves a mark, i can't stand heated arguments, i can't stand the fists and the tears and the screams, that's what it feels like to me when i want to say i have a problem with something, like i am punching them in the face, like the only possible response is shouting and thrown plates, that all i have to do to keep things calm, to keep them safe, is to swallow what i want to say.
I know, it's fucked up.
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Blah
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Posted:Feb 21, 2017 9:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 6:57 am
8282 Views
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One of the things that gets to me sometimes is when you are in a chatroom or reading a blog and someone is pouring their heart out in pain, really hurting and looking for some small sign that someone cares, that the world is not indifferent, and people will look at them and think "Great, they are a mess, i could get a fuck out of this!!" or worse (well it seems worse to me) they don't give it any thought at all.
Ok i know we are just names on a screen, maybe a pic or two and no more real than a video game character, just a bunch of strangers we will never meet outside of masturbation fantasies, that so many of us are just here to get our rocks off and not have to deal with mess or 'drama' or anything else but cumming, but still, whatever happened to empathy?
I know i am jaded and cynical and let the coldness of this mercenary world get to me sometimes, i shouldn't be surprised but i still am, maybe that's a good thing, i don't know, it is why i vanish for months at a time, because it gets me down so much i have to disappear into my cave and own belly button.
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Compromise
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Posted:Feb 19, 2017 2:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 6:58 am
8568 Views
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I was thinking idly this morning about conversations i've had with men and women on various sites where they go on and on about what they did for their ex, things they gave up, changes they made in their life and then i remembered someone else in a chatroom talking about not putting insane pressure on a partner by relying on them to provide everything good in your life for you.
It got me thinking, i am a firm believer in compromise, i believe that it takes work to make a relationship and that each person has a little to give to it, things to sacrifice that get in the way, but any changes you make should be changes you want to make not begrudge, anything you give up should be something you want to give up, or at least don't mind.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying don't change yourself, don't compromise, i'm saying do it for the right reason, do it because you have wanted to make those changes and were just never motivated enough until you were with someone it was important to, do it for you, don't lay it all on pleasing the other person, on being what you think they want you to be so they'll like you.
Sure they might like the faked version of you better if you give up smoking or porn or weed, lose weight, dye your hair or whatever it is that makes you not quite the dreamboat you think they're looking for, but it won't really be you, and wasn't it you they were interested in in the first place?
if you don't really want to make a change in your life or habits for yourself then it's hard to see how that won't leave some niggling resentment festering away in the background, it might be buried deep but it's likely to be brought out to be shoved in their faces if or when things go south and trotted out as a litany of woe forever after when detailing to the next one exactly why all those people in the past it never worked with were at fault for everything that ever went wrong, the whole "I'm a nice guy i've just been with bitches" syndrome.
Compromise is good, compromise is necessary, but if you have to change everything you are to be with someone then perhaps you weren't right for each other in the first place.
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Hugging
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Posted:Feb 18, 2017 2:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2017 9:48 pm
8723 Views
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I love hugging, i'm a tactile kind of person, stretched out on a sofa with a girlfriend snuggled up against me, my face buried in her hair and my fingers tracing idly over her, does it get better than that?
I love to walk down the street holding hands or with my arm around the waist or shoulders of a girlfriend, i love to stop in the middle of the street to kiss and hug, to have her sit on my lap in the pub or on the tube or bus, and if people look at us and think we are strange? So what? I couldn't care less what they think, if i am into the person i am with i am damn well going to show it!!
I love those long lazy weekends where you don't even get out of bed, you just cuddle up together, kissing, giggling, getting very very serious for a time and then basking in the aftermath together, the room thick with the funky scent of your sex, the tingle from the playful bites, the hickeys marking you as hers...
I miss having a girlfriend walk up to me where i am sitting and just kneel over my lap, take my face between her hands and start kissing me, i miss cooking in the kitchen and have her walk up behind me, wrap her arms around me and lay her head on my back.
I miss those million little intimate moments
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Kissing
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Posted:Feb 17, 2017 1:03 am
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2017 12:25 pm
8566 Views
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I love to kiss, i really love to kiss, i really really love to kiss... What is it about kissing that i love? Why do that when i could just fuck?
Kissing feels wonderful, not just physically but emotionally too, because it is intimate without being really sexual, sure it may lead to sex but it doesn't have to, it says "I want you" without having to flop its dick onto the table and arch an eyebrow suggestively. It is foreplay to foreplay
I could happily kiss for hours, and have done, lost in the dance of tongues, the playful little bites, the machine gun pecking, the soul deep searching for what you ate last week, the breathless giddy sense of being totally there and felt as physically satiated afterwards as if i'd had an orgasm, hell i've come close to actual orgasm on occasion while on others i've been left in delicious ball screaming agony.
There's no real purpose to this post, just that i miss kissing.
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Happy Tuesday
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Posted:Feb 13, 2017 9:53 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2017 9:47 pm
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Yes, ok, it is a day manufactured to sell cards, chocolates and easy no brainer gifts whilst simultaneously shaming anyone not conforming to social expectations by being part of a couple, the one day a year where men the world over can demonstrate the true power of Capitalism by buying a get out of jail free card through the purchase of generic pap, the expense of which denotes the level of affection, but still, Happy Valentines Day everyone.
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Why?
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Posted:Feb 10, 2017 11:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 6:59 am
8653 Views
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Why am i not interested in married or attached women? Why am i limiting myself and losing out? Do i think i'm too good for them? Who died and made me king dick of the universe?
Well i don't think i am, i'm not judging people for being here when they are married or otherwise attached, you do whatever you feel is right for you, i have enough trouble with my own relationships, i have no interest in getting in the middle of someone elses, even if they have permission, it's just not my thing.
I'm looking to meet someone special, someone to be a part of my life and yes, ok, someone to be physically intimate with and more, the physical intimacy is nothing (for me) without the mental and emotional intimacy, without a connection and a feeling that the future might have possibilities, i have no interest in meeting someone just to fuck them and that's all that meeting the married or attached can ever be.
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To link to this blog (gattomonstrosis) use [blog gattomonstrosis] in your messages.
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